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Watch this YouTube video

or watch this in part 2 of the YouTube show live at New Year’s Unplugged

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Don’t Go To Denny’s 5/22/16 at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (from a Canon Power Shot camera).

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Don’t Go To Denny’s 5/22/16 at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (Sony camera w/ a Threshold filter).

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her 3 poems Where Does The Love Go, Don’t Go To Denny’s and Like I Was Never There 5/22/16 at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (Canon Power Shot camera).

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her 3 poems Where Does The Love Go, Don’t Go To Denny’s and Like I Was Never There 5/22/16 at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (from a Sony camera).

Don’t Go To Denny’s Janet Kuypers 12/26/09 So one morning leaving New Orleans on New Year’s Day ready to head back to Chicaog she said we should stop at a Denny’s for breakfast... and I get it remember being a Goth drama kid hanging out at Denny at all hours of the night because you sere too young to drink in a bar but I don’t go to Denny’s because One year, after partying for New Year’s in D.C. Paul, one my buddies there, said he wanted to go to this diner in Delaware for breakfast. Now, we hadn’t had anything to eat, and we had been drinking forever for New Year’s, so we thought this was a great idea and off we went. Now, as I said, we hadn’t eaten, and we were starving in Maryland, so when we saw exits to Annapolis we thought, this is a good place to grab breakfast we walked into an empty Denny’s which didn’t even have locks on their doors ‘cause they were always open they sat us in a booth and took our order. the waitress brought Paul’s Grand Slam and whatever I ordered I don’t know, an omelet, hash browns just after we started eating a really big man entered Denny’s and even though the Denny’s was empty they sat him right behind me in the booth right next to us. he was built like Chief Wiggum and he shook my seat as he worked his way in. I thought of the Simpsons episode where Wiggum was in a booth at a diner and Lou had to stab Wiggum’s seat with a switchblade popping it like a balloon so Wiggum could get out of his booth. so when he sat in his seat he moved my booth seat six inches toward my table and he immediately lit up a huge cigar that smelled like burning manure now, how would I know what burning manure smells like? okay, look, I’ve worked on a farm lived on one for a bit and when I tried to eat all I could smell was that burning manure so not two minutes after Wiggum sat down I started hearing noises and my seat started moving. a minute into the gurgling noises which sounded more and more like heaves I suddenly heard what sounded like wet plaster splattering against cement this man right behind me was shaking, and threw up foroveroneminute. now instead of burning manure all I could smell was his alcohol and bile so I said to Paul right then and there, “we’re leaving, and not paying for our food.” still eating, Paul said, “what? why?” so after I tyrannically whispered about the smells and sounds of the fat man’s vomiting escapes, the nonplussed Paul relented and followed me to leave. I gave the waitress a tip, but the people at Denny’s understood why we wouldn’t pay. so yeah, we did go to that diner in Delaware and the food was good and no one vomited and you know, for a minute there I even thought about getting biscuits and gravy but that New Year’s, I resolved to never eat at Denny’s again. Copyright © 2009 Janet Kuypers. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission.