[the Writing of Kuypers]    [JanetKuypers.com]    [Bio]    [Poems]    [Prose]

Listen to the DMJ Art Connection, off the CD Singular

See YouTube video of the poem reading by Janet Kuypers of Knelt and Cried (w/ John playing guitar) in her 3/28/15 show “Journey” at Sisters on a Journey in Hyde Park in Chicago (Canon fs200)

See YouTube video of the poem reading by Janet Kuypers of Knelt and Cried (w/ John playing guitar) in her 3/28/15 show “Journey” at Sisters on a Journey in Hyde Park in Chicago (Canon Power Shot)

See YouTube video of the 3/28/15 Janet Kuypers show “Journey” (w/ John playing guitar) at Sisters on a Journey in Hyde Park in Chicago (filmed with a Canon fs200), of 14 poem readings about her mother

See YouTube video of the 3/28/15 Janet Kuypers show “Journey” (w/ John playing guitar) at Sisters on a Journey in Hyde Park in Chicago (filmed with a Canon Power Shot), of 14 poem reading about her mother

Download these poems in the free chapbook “Journey”, w/ poems read 3/28/15 at Sisters on a Journey show in Hyde Park (Chicago)

See YouTube video (Cps) of Janet Kuypers reading 4 of her poems 9/16/15 at the Poetry At The Gallery Cabaret open mic in Chicago, Knelt and Cried, Eleven and Two, plus Eight, Timing is Everything and Holding My Hand

See YouTube video (Cfs) of Janet Kuypers reading 4 of her poems 9/16/15 at the Poetry At The Gallery Cabaret open mic in Chicago, Knelt and Cried, Eleven and Two, plus Eight, Timing is Everything and Holding My Hand

Knelt and Cried Janet Kuypers, 09/03/06 #3 I was in the minivan or whatever the Hell you call dad’s new car, driven only 930 miles dad driving, sister in the front seat me and brother in the back seats my husband behind me in the far back seat and I waited at my father’s house for a while so we could go to my mother’s services well, they weren’t services she didn’t want that but dad thought the kids would want to see my mother before she was cremated so there we were, the family in ties in black dresses sitting and waiting in our little hearse to drive us to Fuller Funeral Home for our final visit we were in the car and my husband in the far back seat and he knew I was sad he sensed I was crying while the hearse took us to the funeral parlour and he reached his hand forward to take my hand to touch my shoulder, to something and I couldn’t see his face but his hand was a grave consolation as our hearse rolled on to our chance to say farewell I was trying not to cry in the ride in the hearse to the funeral parlour I’ve been a good Marine I’ve been trained to not cry but I couldn’t help the tears at that point and I did my best to stifle them so no one would consider my sniffling and no one would question my faltering emotions we had to take two separate cars and we arrived and we were greeted when we entered and we asked where to go and they pointed the way to lead us in the right direction and I think we were all afraid to go into that room to see her well, I can’t speak for anyone else I know I was afraid afraid of what I’d see afraid of afraid of I don’t know what afraid of seeing how she looked afraid of the finality of it all just afraid so, I’m the littlest one of course I let everyone else go in before me they’re supposed to want to see her more that’s what I hear and we walked in and there were many seats and you could see her face, asleep, peeking out of the coffin in the distance and we all just instinctively sat down dad finally walked to her and knelt before her coffin we watched him watch her pray for her talk to her I don’t know what he was communicating with her he was with her and we all wanted that with her one more time one sister went next, knelt cried then a brother then another brother and I watched a procession of family members all older than me all apparently more important than me all with more history with her than me and and my husband asked if I wanted him to go with me when I walked up to see my mother and I thought, no, I need to do this on my own I finally walked up to her knelt before her and looked at her in the dress she wore to my wedding and thought she looked so beautiful she looked so peaceful she looked like she was sleeping and I hadn’t seen her that peaceful in a long time every time I came to visit her since the disease started she always looked tired when she was awake otherwise she was asleep and looked fitful in her rest I looked at her eyebrows they were penciled in very nicely and I looked down at her nails and they were long, very nicely painted and the earrings we picked for her to wear were so dainty and so lovely and the dress was so nice and she looked so peaceful and that’s all I could keep thinking that she looked so well rested that she was just taking a good nap and she would be just fine she had to be ### I looked at my mother one last time these were my final words to her face this would be the last time I saw her make it good, girl you’re the one with the words tell her what you mean in fifty words or less that’s how these services go, don’t they? and I told her that I loved her and I told her that I hope that I carry on any of her kindness because that’s they way she’ll live on because the world is filled with people who aren’t nice who aren’t kind and losing her makes the world a worse place people have told me that I am kind that I am nice and I only hope I can do you justice that I can somehow make this world a better place like you did I only hope that I can do the world justice because the world needs you now, mom and you had to leave us so what do we do now before I left her that first time I started to run my hands along my chest into a cross because I wanted all of the spirits to know that you are there and that you are to be welcomed because you are blessed even if it’s only from the likes of me Copyright Janet Kuypers. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission.