[the Writing of Kuypers]    [JanetKuypers.com]    [Bio]    [Poems]    [Prose]

Watch this YouTube video (5:03, of just the poem) live at the Yammer Chicago mini-feature 11/17/99

Watch this YouTube video live at the show Questions in a World Without Answers 10/05/04, Chicago

watch the full Questions in a World Withough Answers video live, including this poem in Chicago 10/05/04 (~21:56)

Listen to this radio recording from WZRD Radio (in a 2 CD set)

Listen to the live reading from the Side A/Side B feature 12/09/03

Watch this YouTube video (5:18) live at Jesse Oaks 07/19/07

Listen to this live at Live at Cafe Aloha (Janet Kuypers/Jason Pettus show)

Watch the YouTube video (:56) live at Beach Poets 08/14/05

Watch this YouTube video (5:22) recorded on the Pacific Ocean 12/07 near the Galapagos os Islands

Watch this YouTube video (5:13) recorded of dancing Boobies (birds called Nazca Boobies, Punta Suarez, Espanola Island 12/25/07, Galapagos os Islands)

Watch this YouTube video (2:22) from the Poetry Fest 2006 Lake County Poets Society practice performance, live 08/22/06

You can also see the above YouTube video at blinkx and Google Video

see the entire performance at the Lake County 08/22/06 Prep Show live, via the Internet Archive

Listen to the full show read live as the final scheduled feature 08/26/06 for the Society of Professional Journalists show thru Chicago Poetry Fest ‘06.

Watch this YouTube video 03/05/11 from the TV camera in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her show Letting it All Out

Watch this YouTube video (4:32, of just the poem) 03/05/11 in Lake Villa at Swing State, live in her “Visual Nonsense” show Letting it All Out

Watch this YouTube video of Kuypers from the TV monitor in the “Letting it All Out” show, live in Lake Villa 03/05/11 at Swing State

Watch this YouTube video (34:48) to the Letting it All Out show, live in Lake Villa’s Swing State 03/05/11 with this piece

See YouTube video of Kuypers reading this poem 2/27/13 at the Café Gallery in Chicago (from the Canon camera)

See YouTube video of Kuypers reading this poem 2/27/13 at the Café Gallery in Chicago (from the Sony camera)

See YouTube video of Kuypers hosting the open mic 2/27/13 at Gallery Cabaret’s the Café Gallery in Chicago, plus this poem

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Being God in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (C, take 1)

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Being God in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (C, take 2)

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Being God in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (S, take 1)

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading her poem Being God in Vicci’s Chicago studio 7/20/14, with video behind her of her drawing this poem (S, take 2)

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading 3 poems 9/14/15 at the Chicago open mic Weeds, w/ “So”, Beauty in the Eyes of Einstein, & Burn It In (Canon fs200)

See YouTube video of Janet Kuypers reading 3 poems 9/14/15 at the Chicago open mic Weeds, w/ “So”, Beauty in the Eyes of Einstein, & Burn It In (Canon PS).

See YouTube video 1/3/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems White Knuckled, Women’s Very Existence and Burn It In from her book Rape, Sexism, Life & Death and her poem ever leave me from the cc&d book When the Walls are Paper Thin at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (Nikon CoolPix S7000)

See YouTube video 1/3/16 of Janet Kuypers reading her poems White Knuckled, Women’s Very Existence and Burn It In from her book Rape, Sexism, Life & Death and her poem ever leave me from the cc&d book When the Walls are Paper Thin at the Austin open mic Kick Butt Poetry (Canon Power Shot)

Burn It In Janet Kuypers Once I was at a beach off the west coast of Florida it was New Year’s eve and the yellow moon hung over the gulf like a swaying lantern. And I was watching the waves crash in front of me with a friend and the wind picked up and my friend just stared at that moon for a while and then closed his eyes. I asked him what he was thinking. He said, “I wanted to look at this scene, and memorize it, burn it into my brain, record it in my mind, so I can call it up when I want to. So I can have it with me always.” I too have my recorders. I burn these things into my brain, I burn these things onto pages. I pick and choose what needs to be said, what needs to be remembered. Every year, at the end of the year I used to write in a journal recall the things that happened to me log in all of the memories I needed to keep because that was what kept me sane that was what kept me alive. When I first went to college I was studying to be a computer science engineer, I wanted to make a lot of money I wanted to beat everyone else because burned in my brain were the taunts of kids who were in cliques so others could do the thinking for them because burned in my brain were the evenings of the high school dances I never went to because burned in my brain were the people I knew I was better than who thought they were better than me. Well, yes, I wanted to make a lot of money I wanted to beat everyone else but I hated what I was doing I hated what I saw around me hated all the pain people put each other through and all of these memories just kept flooding me so in my spare time to keep me sane, to keep me alive I wrote down the things I could not say that was how I recorded things. When I looked around me, and saw friends raping my friends I wrote, I burned into these nightmares with a pen and yes, I have this recorded I have all of this recorded. What did you think I was doing when I was stuffing hand-written notes into my pockets or typing long hours into the night? In college, I had two roommates who in their spare time would watch movies in our living room and cross-stitch. I never understood this. In my spare time, I was not watching other’s stories or weaving thread to keep my hands busy I was sitting in the corner of a cafe scribbling into my notebook. I was sitting in the university computer lab slamming my hands, my fingers against the keyboard because there were too many atrocities in the world too many injustices that I had witnessed too many people who had wronged me and I had a lot of work to do. There had to be a record of what you’ve done. Did you think your crimes would go unpunished? And did you think that you could come back, years later, slap me on the back with a friendly hello and think I wouldn’t remember? You see, that’s what I have my poems for so there will always be a record of what you have done I have defiled many pages in your honor, you who swung your battle ax high above your head and thought no one would remember in the end. Well, I made a point to remember. Yes, I have defiled many pages and have you defiled many women? You, the man who rapes my friends? You, the man who rapes my sisters? You, the man who rapes me? Is this what makes you a strong man? you want to know why I do the things I do I had to record these things that is what kept me together when people were dying that is what kept me together when my friends went off to war that is what kept me together when my friends were raped and left for dead that is what kept me together when no one bothered to notice this or change this or care about this these recordings kept me together I need to record these things to remind myself of where I came from I need to record these things to remind myself that there are things to value and things to hate I need to record these things to remind myself that there are things worth fighting for worth dying for I need to record these things to remind myself that I am alive Copyright Janet Kuypers. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission.

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