Flerovium
Janet Kuypers
(from the “Periodic Table of Poetry” series, #114, Fl)
12/26/13
I’ve had you on my mind.
I think you have been trying to reach me
since before I was born,
since before fission bombs were imagined in the forties.
I would sense you, but then I’d look around me.
There would be nothing.
Where did these feelings come from.
Since as far back as ninety eight
I would get this tingling feeling
every once in a while,
and within a minute the feeling would be gone.
Then I’d look over my shoulder.
There would be nothing for me to see.
And now I find
that since oh nine
the feeling now comes
to me all the time.
At times this feeling -
like a bomb through my body -
would rush over me,
my bones would almost crumble
from under my skin,
my heart would race
and my legs would shake,
and I’d look for any island of stability to save me.
How did I know I was looking for you.
#
Theoretical physicists postulate
that there are more dimensions than we can see.
Some speak of a fourth dimension.
Some talk of ten.
So what I wonder
is that at these times,
when this devastating wave comes over me,
well,
I wonder if it is you,
coming at me from another dimension,
and I haven’t been able
to make contact with you just yet.
Maybe I don’t know what’s good for me,
you make me shake to my core
but I want to know
if you’re actually the one
destroying me like this,
from the inside out.
When I feel this corrosive feeling inside me
that I can’t control,
maybe I should learn my lesson
and keep myself in check,
and leave the idea of you
as just this feeling
I think you give me.
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