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Afraid of Telling The Truth, 2005

original written 11-23-08, turned into prose 09-12-05

I don’t know if I’m supposed to have a lot of thoughts jumping around in my head. I don’t know if I think about him too much, or if I’m supposed to think about him at all.
There are only so many hopes that you can basically have in life, and I’ve turned off most of my hopes.
I can be afraid of telling the truth, and if there’s anyone that can handle it — that can quote unquote “handle it” — well then, I guess that person would be me.
So in this case, I suppose it’s irrelevant that I want you and that I need you too. Yeah, it’s probably irrelevant now that I want you to play along withme in this little part of my life, and that you should take all of my troubles away.
My fear is that I’ll scare you away. I’ll scare you away if I tell you the truth.
So am I supposed to just sit here in silence and wait?


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