[the Writing of Kuypers]
I’m an X Files junkie
she had to ask about a friend who was ill
where shortly after he was admitted
well, Scully asked this woman
that something in his soul might not be settled
and this woman that worked with the Taoist Healing Center
and eventually she found out
and although the cancer is bad,
and after seeing a healer
and everyone looks for answers to problems
and I’ve seen this episode before
and I know she loves her husband
I told my husband about this X Files episode
so I tried to think of another X Files episode
maybe I’m just grasping at straws
U.S. Government Copyright © 2004
[JanetKuypers.com][Bio][Poems][Prose]
Really Physically Heal
08/01/06
still, years after the series finale
and I just recently watched
one of my favorite episodes
written and directed by Gillian Anderson
where she meets with a woman
affiliated with The American Taoist Healing Center
even though Scully is a medical doctor
and a scientist
you see, had had heart problems
and this man, this medical doctor and teacher
analyzed his symptoms
and admitted himself to the hospital
he almost died, but was saved
is her friend could be dying
from a more serious condition
told Scully that she used to be a physicist,
that she put in eight hour work weeks
and that she was successful
and all that time she thought that she was happy
but she had only cut herself off
from the rest of the world
and she was dying inside
she was in a relationship with another woman
but she couldn’t tell anyone about it
for fear of their reactions
she had breast cancer
this woman said it was the cancer
that got her attention
where she then saw her destructive life she led
and she realized the field had little meaning to her
who taught her to let go of her shame
and being at peace
well, that was when her cancer went into remission
to be packaged in a nice little box
with a little bow on top
that can just make everything better
but it takes a lifetime of understanding
to be able to not let illness effect you that way
but seeing it now, in these circumstances
knowing that my mother was dying form cancer
and there was nothing I could do about it
well, hearing this fictional woman say these words
made me almost think, almost start to panic:
maybe my mother had lived parts of her life
that she did not like,
that she did not want
but she did them because she was married
to the man who ran the construction business
and she had a role to play
and I know she loves her children
but I really started thinking
that maybe there are things
unsettled in her psyche
that she needs to make better
and then she may be able
to really physically heal
he remembered it vaguely,
seeing it once or twice in the past
and I explained the story to him again
and I relived those lines again
and I know I’ve heard those lines before
but I was never able to put them to practice
so I told my husband what I thought,
maybe there was something mom
had to settle with in her life,
in her soul
and he looked at my doe eyes and said no, Janet, no
he said I’m sure she doesn’t feel anything like that
where Fox Mulder found out
his mother died
and after finding out she committed suicide
he went to her home, looked around
and said her home looked staged,
the FBI agent in him said
she couldn’t really have killed herself
there has to be another explanation
and Scully had to tell him
that she really killed herself,
there’s nothing more to it than that
and he just had to let go
because she’s still fighting the cancer
and waiting to die
but I want to be that crazy one
exhausting every source
investigating every option
Hell, I’ll take an idea from a tv show
I’ll take anything I can get
Copyright © 2006 Janet Kuypers.
Chicago Poet Janet Kuypers
on all art and all writings on this site completed
before 6/6/04. All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
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