Just Let Her Rest
Janet Kuypers, 09/11/06 #4
it was heavy
heavy the way I felt
after I let the news sink in
that my mother died
my sister told me
to take mom’s ashes
ashes of her coffin,
and ashes of the dress
she wore to my wedding
the ashes were so heavy
so we were at Fuller Funeral Home today
and we asked if the ashes were ready
they brought mom to us
a smaller container,
a larger container
sealed tightly
along with all the necessary paperwork
to prove that yes,
these are my mother’s ashes
this is really it
and I carried mom out to the car
with my dad
so we could bring mom home
one more time
mom sat in my lap at first,
then at my feet
for a safer journey
she’s resting on my bed right now
all tightly wrapped up
like she was covered, in a blanket
because she used to get cold
there are a few polyester/
cotton button-down tops
we keep in the hallway closet
you know, for additional warmth
for mom
we kept them in the closet still
because the kids visit
and I’ve even been wearing one of them
because I get cold
in the air conditioning
in the afternoons here
we keep some of these things around
like her crocheted blankets
because she’d get cold sometimes
and maybe I can think
she’s resting now on my bed
her ashes in plastic
like a blanket around her
to keep her warm
and to keep her together
###
I probably sound delirious
talking this way
but saying these things
makes it easier to handle right now
I don’t want to think
that my mother’s remains
are now only ashes
in a plastic bag
closed with a little white twist-tie
in a cardboard box
on top of my bed
I don’t want to think of it that way
really
I’d rather think
she’s resting now
before I bring her back
to where she used to live
she’s my mom
I even just had to put her
under the blankets
you know, with a little room at the top
her her head
wherever it may be
I even had to put my arms around her
like I wanted to do
while she was still alive,
dying
so I even put my arms around her
and cried
so give her a rest
she’s needed it for so long
just let her rest
Copyright © 2006 Janet Kuypers.
U.S. Government Copyright © 2004
Chicago Poet Janet Kuypers
on all art and all writings on this site completed
before 6/6/04. All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
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