[the Writing of Kuypers]
“I didn’t realize
she got out of the house one day
she’d try to pull a weed up
but she did that sparingly
she needed to go inside again
I’d try to get her out of the house
and she looked like her neck hurt,
and she’d say no,
then she’d say
and then she’d say
and we read this is one of the stages
and I don’t know what it feels like
I think my mom
When the doctors told mom
but I think mom was in so much pain
we keep saying to people that it’s better
emotionally, for us, we wish she was here
but we don’t want her to feel that pain anymore
U.S. Government Copyright © 2004
[JanetKuypers.com][Bio][Poems][Prose]
It Hurts in the Bones
Janet Kuypers, 9/5/06 *#035;2
how much pain she was in
and I did gardening for her,
she told me what weeds needed to be pulled
as she sat in the chair
in front of the house
if it was right by her chair
and when I saw her,
I’d say,
mom, tell me what to do
and I’ll do it
after a short while
and I think that was the most movement
she did for the rest of her life
you know, just to walk
maybe to the next house and back
and she’d always say no
her back hurt
so I’d ask if if I could rub her neck or back
that wouldn’t help
it hurts down in the bones
of this disease
to hurt in your bones
something deeper than deep muscle pain
I
I can’t imagine it
I can’t imagine what it feels like
wouldn’t let on
about how much pain she was in
she had six months to a year with this disease
my sister said to mom,
your father
(our grandfather)
had cancer
and the doctors said he had
six months to live.
how long did he live?
and mom replied,
six years.
so she tried to tell her
that we Bakutis are strong folk
and she can be okay if she fights
that she made a decision tight then and there
that she didn’t want that pain
deep down in her bones any more
and decided to let her enemy win.
that she’s not suffering any more
and we keep telling everyone
that this is for the best.”
Copyright © 2006 Janet Kuypers.
Chicago Poet Janet Kuypers
on all art and all writings on this site completed
before 6/6/04. All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
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