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Suspend My Beliefs

November 14, 1998

and I don’t know what the answers
are supposed to be anymore

I’m tired of looking for the answers
sometimes, you know
and sometimes I just want someone
to come along and tell me that
everything is going to be okay

and that they are going to be there for me
and that they’ll take care of me

and that they’ll love me

and when i say love, I don’t mean
the kind of garbage that you hear
people say to each other when they
don’t even know what love is

I’m talking real love, lifetime love
the kind of love that doesn’t go away

well, as I was saying, I want someone
to come along and tell me that everything
is going to be okay and that everything will
get better
and you know, just hearing someone say that
and mean it
would be enough

I’d be able to suspend my beliefs for a moment

so what should I make out of this world
what should I make out of this world that

doesn’t make sense
what should I make out of it

I can hope, I suppose
but I’ve done that for years
and it gets me no where

this whole belief thing
in things you have no proof of

really doesn’t get you anywhere
I’ve learned that much

So what do I want

I want someone to come along
and let me not think for a while

someone to come along
and excite me
and make me feel alive
and make me feel that I’m safe

I haven’t felt that in so long

I’ve wanted you to be a part of my life
in so many ways
for so many years now
and I think I’ve wanted it
for so long
and I’ve never told you

well, maybe I should have told you
when you would have wanted to hear it
so many years ago

and then maybe I wouldn’t feel so lonely for you
and maybe I wouldn’t want so much more from you

and maybe then things would be different


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