[the Writing of Kuypers]
A friend of mine had a roommate named Gary
So on one particular occasion,
Now, he said, this girl
And Friday came, and Gary,
And my friend said, now I don’t want to hear
So Gary got ready for his blind date
“Oh, you must be Gary, please,
Once Gary got into the house,
and Gary, still not feeling well,
Gary walked into the brand-new bathroom.
Gary sat down on this new ivory throne,
But he couldn’t leave the underwear
and flushed.
Which caused the toilet to overflow,
So here was Gary’s dilemma:
What are his options, what are his options.
So he did the only thing he thought
When he arrived at his apartment
And after that, he never
[JanetKuypers.com][Bio][Poems][Prose]
Gary’s Blind Date
and Gary was a man
who was always down on his luck
after Gary had a dating dry spell,
my friend decided to set Gary up
on a blind date.
is beautiful, she’s funny,
you’ll think she’s great. trust me.
Pick her up Friday night.
feeling more and more apprehensive,
said, but I’m not feeling well. I’ve
been sick all week.
any excuses. You’re going.
and drove over to the girl’s house.
She lived with her parents,
so when Gary rang the door bell
the girl’s mother answered.
come in,” she said.
the mother said,
my daughter’s still getting ready.
Would you like to wait?
asked where the washroom was.
She directed him to the newly remodeled basement.
New fixtures. Thick, white,
wall-to-wall carpeting.
still sick. But when he looked over
there was no toilet paper.
He couldn’t just stand up, he thought,
this isn’t just a regular trip to the bathroom,
I need something
to clean myself off with.
He couldn’t use a towel.
So he took off his pants
and used his underwear.
in the small, open trash can in the corner
of this newly-remodeled
bathroom, he thought.
So he
dropped them
in the toilet
causing the newly-remodeled bathroom
to look
less than new.
he left his underwear in the toilet
and defiled this family’s brand-new bathroom
all without even getting the chance
to introduce himself
to his date.
he could do in this situation:
he climbed out the small
bathroom window
and
drove
home.
so early from his date,
his roommate had to ask.
set Gary up
on a blind date
again.
Copyright Janet Kuypers.
All rights reserved. No material
may be reprinted without express permission.
