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letter, 4/19/95 The depression is so fucking bad I can’t work. I’m applying for disability, but that may take months. I’m losing this place, & where I’m going is anyone’s guess. I have a shrink appt on Tuesday, but how I’m going to pay for the medication is beyond me. It hardly seems worth it. I know I have things to accomplish; my soul knows it. But the doors of possibility are slamming closed one after another, & I’m not sure I can hang on much longer. your soul knows it. hang on. they say that a soul not at rest after death will travel the earth through all eternity, searching for peace but never finding it. you want your peace. i know it. this is not the way. you have so many things to accomplish. that book, that lover. christ, that extra six-pack stuck in the back of the fridge. just find something, anything, fix on that, and let that take you to the next day. do that for long enough and maybe you’ll find that peace you’re looking for. but don’t stop searching. things have to fall into place first. they have to. they have to. Copyright Janet Kuypers. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission.

Listen (1:43, 07/03/11) Or watch the YouTube video (Published in her book Close Cover Before Striking) 07/05/11 at the Café

See feature-length YouTube video 07/05/11 of Janet Kuypers performing her poetry @ Chicago’s the Café

Watch this YouTube video of the intro to the 07/05/11 open mic at the Café in Chicago, with poems and her Close Cover Before Striking poems