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twin

they tell me i was born
two months premature
the first of twins
they tell me it was difficult
my birth
i still can’t hear in one ear
i have an indentation in my chest
on the right side
where they had to run a tube
in me
to keep me alive
they tell me they kept Douglas alive
for three weeks
but he just couldn’t survive
i wonder what it would have been like
to have someone look just like me
we could switch places
fool everyone
we’d be inseparable
my family doesn’t talk about
him much
but sometimes
i still think of him
maybe with the medical world
today
he would be alive
sometimes i feel
like i’m not whole


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